Weak US dollar hits papal profits

The Vatican made a loss last year as the weaker dollar reduced the value of donations from the faithful in the United States.

Almost a quarter of the $79.8m (£40.4m) worth of offerings it received came from collections made in US churches.

But as the dollar lost 15% of its value against the euro, the Catholic Church's governing body made a loss of 9.1m euros (£7.3m: $14.3m) in 2007.

That was despite receiving a single anonymous donation of $14.3m.

(full article here).

Hmm, let me see … a profit of $79.8m - $14.3m = $65.5m, and the Catholic News Agency says that there are 1,115,000,000 Catholics, which means that they each on average donated a whopping five cents each!

Shum mishtake shurely?

Oh, well, perhaps they could sell some of that gold plate, or those graven images which they worship?

Don't worry, lads, the Lord will provide.

Embarassing

Just had the bank on the 'phone - my credit card is over max & what am I going to do about it?

So I walk into the big boss's office with them on the 'phone, bluntly explain the situation and ask him the same question. He replies that I will have half a month by the end of the week, maybe even a month (which sounds like a special exception to me). I repeat that to the 'phone and ask them to call back on Friday and confirm.

I stand and turn and don't even bother to look at him as I say, "that was exceedingly embarrassing, and I don't want it to happen again". He doesn't reply as I leave. I feel nothing but contempt for him, and I am sure that it showed (which might not have been the smartest move, but frankly I can't be arsed to pretend).

Dude, wtf am I doing here?

Otoh, Plan 9 from Outer Space marches inexorably onward.

Orgy with a twist

It seems that some B-list celeb has died in an orgy on a 'plane.

Apparently this is of such import that I have a 2p.m. meeting to discuss it.

Good girls are just better at lying

I spotted this one on Orchard Road yesterday …

Too hot to care

Cabin fever – the usual weekend these days. Staying at home, waiting fro Monday when I can go into the office and learn that there is no news on the salary front.

Today I crack and decide that I will blow some on used books.

I stand at the bust stop and watch a 190 close. The 190 is the best of buses, the worst of buses. It goes almost everywhere, but when it approaches my stop, four stops from Orchard Road, it has a tendency to be full.

So the 190 approaches, passes, slows not a jot, sails on by – sardine-full.

As does the next.

There are a few spaces on the next, but being raised in a certain time and place I allow the four others at the stop to board.

And the doors close in my face. (more)

Mister handsome

I popped into a bar which I haven't been in for while and they told me that I had left without paying my tab last time. Sure, it can happen, but this one was for only two beers, so you would think that I would have remembered to pay. But I wasn't about to quibble over two cheap beers.

So, barlady asks bargirl to bring my tab and she says, "we had to file that one under his nickname" (they have had a fair bit of staff turnover recently).

So I get the tab to pay it and glace down to see that someone had written "Mister Handsome - two Tigers".

Ego boost, or what?

Sure, it's probably just BS, but they'll be getting my custom again

jesus rode dinosaurs

Ok, to be fair, it only says that he "probably" rode dinosaurs.

Inconsiderate bastard

Little pecadillos

Singapore man with armpit fetish gets 14 years' jail, caning

SINGAPORE (AFP) — A Singaporean man with a fetish for smelling womens' armpits has been sentenced to 14 years in jail and 18 strokes of the cane, legal officials said Friday.
A court employee confirmed the sentence, issued Thursday, against Mohammed Ismail Ariffin, 36.

Ariffin had a fixation for touching or smelling women, particularly their armpits, and was convicted of molesting 23 women, his lawyer Noor Mohamed Marican told AFP.

"He's got this problem. Poor chap," Noor said in a brief interview.

After reading an expert report that said Ariffin was likely to re-offend, Judge James Leong issued a preventive detention order, which means Ariffin will not be eligible for parole, The Straits Times said.
Ariffin, who is mildly retarded, would often attack his victims inside lifts, the report said.

It said Noor argued against a long sentence and in favour of rehabilitation and medical treatment.

But Leong said he found "precious little" in Ariffin's favour, The Straits Times reported.

Ooer! Wonder what they would do if they found out my little peccadilloes.

In Japan Half The Top Selling Books Are Written On Mobile Phones

http://www.techcrunch.com/2007/12/02/in-japan-half-the-top-selling-books-are-written-on-mobile-phones/

Things that go bump on the streets

In the space of two or three months I witnessed three accidents at the corner of our street (all involving a motor bike an a car); these are usually caused by someone trying to race across the yellow box grid and not making it.

The first time no one seemed interesting in stopping an offering to be a witness (a pattern which I now realise is the norm), so I called for police an ambulance and hung around for an hour or so until it was all cleared up (I didn't bother to blog it, for some reason).

A few weeks ago I was almost killed by a murderous truck driver.

Two weeks ago we were on our way home from work when our taxi rear-ended a car. Fortunately we were not travelling too fast, it was just a small skid on cheap tyres (it had been raining lightly. Everywhere else rain is the taxi-driver's friend as it increases business, but in Singapore the taxi-drivers say that the taxi companies buy cheap tyres fro their fleets which have almost no traction in the wet). The poor driver had been driving for twenty years without an accident and was due to get a next vehicle in a week or two. He was so shaken that he could not continue to work and dropped us before heading home.

Last Friday morning as we waited in Jalan Eunos to turn into Changi Road a motor bike tried to nip across and turn right before the oncoming traffic started. He did not make it and sailed high in the air. Miraculously, he stood up and seemed to be ok. As usual, no one stopped and offered to be a witness. And our taxi driver was so shaken that he had to go to the coffee shop and sit for a while before deciding whether he could continue to work.

The number of wrecks is making me a nervous wreck and every time a taxi in which I am passenger seems to get too close to the vehicle in front I am pressing an imaginary break.

Even Shanghai wasn't this bad. Even Turin wasn't this bad!

Awash with nuns

Being "dissatisfied" at work, I treat myself to a day's Medical Certificate.

At lunchtime I make for a food court on North Bridge Road, opposite the Raffles Hotel and just around the corner from Dog and pony show, where they have good Indian food.

I queue behind a Buddhist priest who is given his food for free and order some lamb and bread and a rather expensive $5.80 bottle of Tiger. I go outside to and sit opposite a kitchen worker, a young Chinese girl, who has a huge supply of small plastic bags with a string at the neck, diced read chillies and oil, and is assembly lining, adding a little chilli and some oil to each bag until she has a few hundred.

I finish my book ("How to write a winning business plan”), but remember that there is a bookshop around the corner who's sales I have attended in the past.

As I walk there I realize that every second shop in the plaza seems to be a book shop, although some define the term loosely. "The modern bookshop" for instance has displays by the front door of pliers, glue guns, ratchet sets, string, three ring binders and the like.

I hope to find another business book, but pass on the statistics books, much as I like them, as I probably have enough already. I am mildly amused to see that they are selling a few by "Changi Jim" Slater; ah, the delicious irony.

I abandon my plans for business books when I see a copy of Tom Holland's excellentRubicon. I have another at how, but I want this one NOW!

As I walk back to my rapidly cooling curry I notice that the plaza is awash with nuns.

french military victories

Try this before Google "fixes" it:-

On Google, type in "french military victories" without the quotes.

Instead of hitting "Search," hit "I'm Feeling Lucky", accept the suggestion.

For added hilarity, don't forget to follow the link which Google asks if you really meant.

What's in a name?

As I may have mentioned elsewhere, I am working on a business plan for a software house.

Of course, name and logo are of prime importance. I was thinking of Advanced Software Solutions, and perhaps I might "borrow" these log of these guys …

Military intelligence

The human mind is a wonderful device, and we can delude ourselves to believe anything that we want to. This evening I deluded myself to believe that if I took public transport home instead of a taxi, then I can have a cheap beer in a low dive (the bonus being that I can scrounge a few bowls of free peanuts and skip on dinner. (more)

On this day in previous years...

2006 Orchard Road Run redux
2006 Cigareets, and Whiskey and Wild, Wild Women

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23 Jul 2008 Weak US dollar hits papal profits
15 Jul 2008 Embarassing
10 Jul 2008 Orgy with a twist

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